What you learn at the movies. 

> > 50 THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE SCREEN.
> > ALL OF LIFE'S MYSTERIES ARE ON YOUR TV!!
> > 
> > 1.  If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any
> > strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
> >  2. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a
> > passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
> >  3. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit
> > level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
> >  4. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French
> > bread.
> >  5. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone
> > in the control tower to talk you down. 
> >  6. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba
> > diving.
> > 7. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place.
> > No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel
> > to any other part of the building without difficulty.
> > 8. You're likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the
> > mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
> > 9. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will
> > not be necessary to speak the language.A German accent will do.
> > 10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in
> > Paris.
> > 11. People on TV never finish their drinks.
> > 12. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating
> > but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 
> > 13. The chief of police is always black.
> > 14. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out
> > a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be
> > the exact fare.
> > 15. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by
> > 15cm.
> > 16. Kitchens don't have light switches.  When entering a kitchen at
> > night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
> > 17. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a
> > strip club at least once.
> > 18. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family
> > every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to
> > eat them.
> > 19. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
> >  20. Wearing a singlet or stripping to the waist can  make a man
> > invulnerable to bullets.
> > 21. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a
> > football stadium.
> >  22. If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him.
> > Just relax and run a bath - even if it is the middle of the afternoon.
> >  23. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. 
> > 24. Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an
> > object out of visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost
> > this technology.
> >  25. All single women have a cat.
> > 26. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
> > 27. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary
> > to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few
> > moments.
> > 28. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all
> > than 20 men firing at one.
> > 29. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely
> > investigated.
> >  30. If a phone line is broken, communication can be restored by
> > frantically beating the cradle and saying, "Hello?, Hello?"
> > 31. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cutting - especially if
> > any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.
> > 32. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
> > involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack
> > you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you
> > have knocked out their predecessor.
> > 33. During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the
> > person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and
> > talk to their back.
> >  34. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room
> > will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
> > 35. Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.
> > 36. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make
> > sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total
> > opposite.
> > 37. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to
> > each other.
> > 38. Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal
> > damage despite laying entire cities to waste.
> > 39. No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity
> > system is never damaged.
> > 40. If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide
> > with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone
> > lines in the vicinity.
> > 41. You can always find a chainsaw whenever you're likely to need one.
> > 42. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their
> > arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley
> > systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow
> > their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. 
> > 43. Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's
> > eighth birthday.
> >  44. Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and
> > accordions - can be played without moving the fingers.
> > 45. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
> > readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
> > 46. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you
> > are visiting.
> > 47. Guns are like disposable razers - if you run out of bullets, just
> > throw the gun away.  You can always buy a new one.
> >  48. Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging.
> > 49. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from
> > duty.
> > 50. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump
> > into will know all the steps.
>